Adventures in Slumberland

A long, long time ago, there was a boy named Joshua who could sleep through anything.

And I, his mother, used to be the queen of Cry It Out. You know, I would put my sweet little cherub to bed each night and though he would cry in protest at first, I would never waver. Having read multiple books, magazine articles, and heard of countless friends with less resolve whose children sleep in their bed with them, I was bound and determined to let my son cry it out. All the experts seem to be in agreement - it's best for a child to learn how to soothe themselves to sleep rather than constantly returning to comfort them and then they learn to cry long and loud enough and Mommy will return.

NOT ME. No, I have an iron will.

Or at least, I had one. For the first 17 months of his life, Josh slept like a champion. Even if he would cry himself to sleep, he would sleep 12 hours like clockwork from the time he went to sleep to the time he would wake up. And sometimes, he would even sleep longer. I'm telling you, this child is amaaaazzing.

That being said, nobody's perfect. Josh turned 18 months old a couple of weeks ago, and right around that time, he would go to sleep with no problem but would wake several times during the night, fussing and crying, sometimes HOWLING. I assumed he was probably teething (again!) and would rock and comfort him and give him some ibuprofen. He would calm right down as soon as I came in and picked him up. But the second I would put him down, he would SCREAM bloody murder and sometimes it would take him an hour to calm back down and fall asleep.

This happened for about a week and a half off and on and I didn't know what to do. Weary, haggard and feeling pretty helpless, I took Josh to his regularly scheduled 18 month old appointment. I regaled the doctor with our night saga and he checked Josh thoroughly. No new teeth coming in, no fluid in the ears. Nothing.

Baffled, I asked the doctor what I should do. He looked at me with a glimmer in his eye and said, "You're going to have to let him cry it out, Mom. He's a big boy now."

WHAAATTT???! Did he mean to tell me that I was being had by my sweet, innocent baby boy?! ME?! Didn't he even know who I am? Or was? Hello, doc! It's me, the QUEEN.

Not knowing what else to do, I took my boy home and followed the doctor's advice. Night one: Josh woke crying once, for about 1 minute and then fell back asleep. I let him cry and didn't worry about it. Night two: Josh woke crying for about 30 seconds and fell back asleep. I held my ground. Nights three through six: Josh sleeps soundly through the night again.

Which means that I sleep through the night again too. Whew.

I'm so happy to have my boy back to normal. And so relieved there is nothing physically wrong with him. And so happy to once again have full reign of my kingdom, Slumberland. It's going to take a lot more than some feeble cries to remove me from power next time. Muahahahhaaha!

Busy Bee Me

I have been a busy, busy bee lately and it's all good stuff but whew it's wearing me out! On a happy note, my doctor's appointment went well and the doctor told me I'm a) probably exhausted because I have an 18 month old (blood tests all came back normal) and b) it's too early to worry about any other reason that I'm not pregnant yet - so a clean bill of health! Yay! It probably was too early to worry, but that is something I am always trying to work on - having peace in all circumstances and being anxious for nothing!

This weekend has been a lot packed into a little bit of time and it's not over yet! I worked yesterday and it was a CRAAZZZY busy, super overwhelming day at work. In addition, my boss (who's super nice but super stressed) asked if I could work Monday and Wednesday next week. I'm already working Friday, Saturday, Sunday...and my in-laws are coming for the week, arriving on Monday. I felt bad saying no, but there is absolutely no way I want to work more days next week. Matt's family lives so far away and we so rarely get to spend time with them so we really want to spend as much time as possible with them when we can. They are very understanding about the fact that we are on a tight budget and every little bit helps, but clearly it's way too much to work the whole time they are here! Goodness knows the next time we'll see them after this visit.

Straight from work we had leadership for Young Life, which is a great time but so much of me wants to just crash on the couch after a long day (which felt like a week) at work. I'm glad we got to have good fellowship with our friends and co-leaders last night but it meant we got to bed late too - and the past few nights with Josh have not been good ones. Poor little thing must be teething again...I swear it's harder on me than it is on him!

Today I took some Young Life girls to breakfast and we did a video for club for next week, then I was supposed to go to a baby shower two and a half hours away, but decided at the last minute (which I felt guilty for!) that it just wouldn't be feasible. Our reliable car was in the shop and I had another commitment to be back for at 6pm...which ended up getting cancelled. Still, it was a busy day of errands that took a lot longer than I had hoped. Grocery store and Costco the Saturday before Thanksgiving = a nightmare! I narrowly escaped with my life.

Tomorrow will be busy as well but I'm so happy we'll be able to go to church. One thing I hate about working so many weekends is that we often have to miss church because of my schedule. It makes us really appreciate the Sundays we can go. And as Thanksgiving rapidly approaches, despite the busy, crazy, hectic days, it's good to be mindful of all our blessings, big and small.

Out of Control

Typically family planning is stuff you keep secret - the first few months of pregnancy it's supposed to be very hush-hush. Only a select few in the "circle of trust" know until the first trimester is over and it's "safe" to tell the world that a new, beautiful life is on the way.

Well, I'm not pregnant, but I'd like to be. And that's been true for a few months now, so I've decided just to go ahead and be honest about it. I wish I could have that first trimester secret, but no such luck. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about three months now and as of yet there's no baby to speak of.

I'm trying not to be too disappointed because we haven't been "trying" that hard - we're just "not not trying" as my husband and I like to say. Also, I know so many people who can't get pregnant at all, and I already have one beautiful blessing to call my own. Furthermore, it's only been a few months since I've been off birth control and they typically tell you not to worry unless it's been a year.

And that's where my trust issue has come into play big time. Since my husband is a teacher and it worked so well last time having a child in the late spring/summer, that's what we were hoping for again this time. Well, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Looks like God has another plan in mind for us. And we are trusting that it's a plan better than our own.

It was very difficult for me when my son was born those first few weeks when my husband was still working. And it was SUCH a relief when he finally had the summer off to help out and be with us. It's hard to believe sometimes that we don't have more control over things that for some reason we think we should have control over. Which is hilarious because for thousands of years there was no such thing as "family planning" - or at least not that I'm aware of. Now we have all this technology and information and I think sometimes it does more harm than good.

For instance, I've spent countless hours the past few days trying to google various things about myself - how long/short my cycles have been, that I've been terribly irregular, that I've been super tired - to try to see if there is something wrong with me. Not my best idea, I admit.

Anyway, I've been praying about it a lot, and my husband has too. I do have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow just to make sure everything's OK. I'm sure it will all be fine, but this whole process has really made me appreciate the sweet child I already have - so much so that if he's the only one I can have for some reason - I will still have joy every day from him and from God, who gave him to us.