Adventures in Slumberland

A long, long time ago, there was a boy named Joshua who could sleep through anything.

And I, his mother, used to be the queen of Cry It Out. You know, I would put my sweet little cherub to bed each night and though he would cry in protest at first, I would never waver. Having read multiple books, magazine articles, and heard of countless friends with less resolve whose children sleep in their bed with them, I was bound and determined to let my son cry it out. All the experts seem to be in agreement - it's best for a child to learn how to soothe themselves to sleep rather than constantly returning to comfort them and then they learn to cry long and loud enough and Mommy will return.

NOT ME. No, I have an iron will.

Or at least, I had one. For the first 17 months of his life, Josh slept like a champion. Even if he would cry himself to sleep, he would sleep 12 hours like clockwork from the time he went to sleep to the time he would wake up. And sometimes, he would even sleep longer. I'm telling you, this child is amaaaazzing.

That being said, nobody's perfect. Josh turned 18 months old a couple of weeks ago, and right around that time, he would go to sleep with no problem but would wake several times during the night, fussing and crying, sometimes HOWLING. I assumed he was probably teething (again!) and would rock and comfort him and give him some ibuprofen. He would calm right down as soon as I came in and picked him up. But the second I would put him down, he would SCREAM bloody murder and sometimes it would take him an hour to calm back down and fall asleep.

This happened for about a week and a half off and on and I didn't know what to do. Weary, haggard and feeling pretty helpless, I took Josh to his regularly scheduled 18 month old appointment. I regaled the doctor with our night saga and he checked Josh thoroughly. No new teeth coming in, no fluid in the ears. Nothing.

Baffled, I asked the doctor what I should do. He looked at me with a glimmer in his eye and said, "You're going to have to let him cry it out, Mom. He's a big boy now."

WHAAATTT???! Did he mean to tell me that I was being had by my sweet, innocent baby boy?! ME?! Didn't he even know who I am? Or was? Hello, doc! It's me, the QUEEN.

Not knowing what else to do, I took my boy home and followed the doctor's advice. Night one: Josh woke crying once, for about 1 minute and then fell back asleep. I let him cry and didn't worry about it. Night two: Josh woke crying for about 30 seconds and fell back asleep. I held my ground. Nights three through six: Josh sleeps soundly through the night again.

Which means that I sleep through the night again too. Whew.

I'm so happy to have my boy back to normal. And so relieved there is nothing physically wrong with him. And so happy to once again have full reign of my kingdom, Slumberland. It's going to take a lot more than some feeble cries to remove me from power next time. Muahahahhaaha!

Busy Bee Me

I have been a busy, busy bee lately and it's all good stuff but whew it's wearing me out! On a happy note, my doctor's appointment went well and the doctor told me I'm a) probably exhausted because I have an 18 month old (blood tests all came back normal) and b) it's too early to worry about any other reason that I'm not pregnant yet - so a clean bill of health! Yay! It probably was too early to worry, but that is something I am always trying to work on - having peace in all circumstances and being anxious for nothing!

This weekend has been a lot packed into a little bit of time and it's not over yet! I worked yesterday and it was a CRAAZZZY busy, super overwhelming day at work. In addition, my boss (who's super nice but super stressed) asked if I could work Monday and Wednesday next week. I'm already working Friday, Saturday, Sunday...and my in-laws are coming for the week, arriving on Monday. I felt bad saying no, but there is absolutely no way I want to work more days next week. Matt's family lives so far away and we so rarely get to spend time with them so we really want to spend as much time as possible with them when we can. They are very understanding about the fact that we are on a tight budget and every little bit helps, but clearly it's way too much to work the whole time they are here! Goodness knows the next time we'll see them after this visit.

Straight from work we had leadership for Young Life, which is a great time but so much of me wants to just crash on the couch after a long day (which felt like a week) at work. I'm glad we got to have good fellowship with our friends and co-leaders last night but it meant we got to bed late too - and the past few nights with Josh have not been good ones. Poor little thing must be teething again...I swear it's harder on me than it is on him!

Today I took some Young Life girls to breakfast and we did a video for club for next week, then I was supposed to go to a baby shower two and a half hours away, but decided at the last minute (which I felt guilty for!) that it just wouldn't be feasible. Our reliable car was in the shop and I had another commitment to be back for at 6pm...which ended up getting cancelled. Still, it was a busy day of errands that took a lot longer than I had hoped. Grocery store and Costco the Saturday before Thanksgiving = a nightmare! I narrowly escaped with my life.

Tomorrow will be busy as well but I'm so happy we'll be able to go to church. One thing I hate about working so many weekends is that we often have to miss church because of my schedule. It makes us really appreciate the Sundays we can go. And as Thanksgiving rapidly approaches, despite the busy, crazy, hectic days, it's good to be mindful of all our blessings, big and small.

Out of Control

Typically family planning is stuff you keep secret - the first few months of pregnancy it's supposed to be very hush-hush. Only a select few in the "circle of trust" know until the first trimester is over and it's "safe" to tell the world that a new, beautiful life is on the way.

Well, I'm not pregnant, but I'd like to be. And that's been true for a few months now, so I've decided just to go ahead and be honest about it. I wish I could have that first trimester secret, but no such luck. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about three months now and as of yet there's no baby to speak of.

I'm trying not to be too disappointed because we haven't been "trying" that hard - we're just "not not trying" as my husband and I like to say. Also, I know so many people who can't get pregnant at all, and I already have one beautiful blessing to call my own. Furthermore, it's only been a few months since I've been off birth control and they typically tell you not to worry unless it's been a year.

And that's where my trust issue has come into play big time. Since my husband is a teacher and it worked so well last time having a child in the late spring/summer, that's what we were hoping for again this time. Well, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Looks like God has another plan in mind for us. And we are trusting that it's a plan better than our own.

It was very difficult for me when my son was born those first few weeks when my husband was still working. And it was SUCH a relief when he finally had the summer off to help out and be with us. It's hard to believe sometimes that we don't have more control over things that for some reason we think we should have control over. Which is hilarious because for thousands of years there was no such thing as "family planning" - or at least not that I'm aware of. Now we have all this technology and information and I think sometimes it does more harm than good.

For instance, I've spent countless hours the past few days trying to google various things about myself - how long/short my cycles have been, that I've been terribly irregular, that I've been super tired - to try to see if there is something wrong with me. Not my best idea, I admit.

Anyway, I've been praying about it a lot, and my husband has too. I do have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow just to make sure everything's OK. I'm sure it will all be fine, but this whole process has really made me appreciate the sweet child I already have - so much so that if he's the only one I can have for some reason - I will still have joy every day from him and from God, who gave him to us.

Daily Housework and Playtime Schedule

Everyone who knows me well knows I love to schedule things. Not filling up my days with appointments scheduling, but every minute of the day has a purpose scheduling. Even if that purpose is taking a nap! My mom loves to tell the story of when our family was going on a beach vacation when I was about nine. While she was packing up the car, she found a notebook in which I had written my "schedule" for each day we would be away. I had even written in times to have a snack or "drink a coke" - or at least, that's what she claims!

Well, old habits die hard and lately I've been feeling like I need to get a schedule in order to keep my home up, make sure I'm spending quality time with my son and start to get things organized around here.

The problem I sometimes encounter with schedules and lists are that I start out with the very best of intentions and then often fall off the horse when life gets in the way, as it inevitably does. My goal was to make a daily schedule that I could follow and live with. Also, it has to be flexible because my husband and I have Young Life commitments at least twice a week, and there always seems to be something else going on.

So here's my first attempt at getting on a schedule we can live with around here. I'm sure there will be some tweaking that happens as I begin to live it, but that's the beauty of a first draft, isn't iit? Also, by posting for all to see, hopefully this will give me accountability to stick with it!

6:15 - (actually the alarm goes off at 6:12 - my husband as apparently calculated the exact number of minutes it will take him to get ready in the the morning so he can get every possible minute of sleep. That's what I get for marrying a math teacher!) Husband and I get up, I make coffee, iron his clothes for the day and make his lunch.

6:45 - Husband off to work, I do my quiet time with God.

7:15 - I call my mom (yes, we talk every day - I know it's not what "normal" mothers and daughters do, but I love starting my day talking to one of my very best friends)

7:45 (or after) - Josh gets up, I change his diaper, and make and eat breakfast with him.

8:30ish - Josh has a half hour of playpen time while I do the Morning Routine (I cribbed this from my studies of 1950's housewives when I was doing my other blog "Move Over, June!" It seems to work well - I can get a lot done in just a half an hour!)

The Morning Routine consists of:

1. Loading and starting the washer

2. Cleaning the kitchen (empty dishwasher, load new dishes, clean counters)

3. Make our bed and tidy bedrooms

4. Tidy bathroom & run a disinfecting wipe quickly over sink and toilet

5. Tidy living room

9:00ish - Structured Activty with Josh (most of my scheduled time with Josh are ideas from the Babywise series, which I'm sure I will post more on later). This is time where we do an activity I choose, and lately I've been getting ideas from my Parents Magazines - more posts on these later as well!

9:30 - Josh has juice and a light snack. I have water and a small snack with him. Change Josh's diaper and change him into clothes for the day.

10:00 - Josh free play time (he plays in living room with toys independently - or as independently as possible!) I'm in the living room making calls, updating our finances, etc.

11:00 - Josh playtime with Mom

11:30 - Make and eat lunch with Josh, change diaper.

12:00 - Josh nap. I call my husband to check in or just leave a message and say "I love you."

12:15 - Mama nap time! (hopefully) Or reading or just resting a bit. I used to feel guilty about this, but honestly, it's hard to get up so early and go to bed so late (on my husband's schedule) without getting at least a bit of a breather during the day!

1:30 - I shower and get ready for the day

2:00 (or after) - Josh up from nap, change diaper. Josh free playtime and/or run errands with Mom

3:00 - Josh playtime with Mom

3:30 - Make and eat snack with Josh, change diaper.

3:45 - Josh playpen time. This is when I clean the room of the day. I will use a rotating schedule that will start out like this:

Monday - Bathroom

Tuesday - Master Bedroom

Wednesday - Josh's Room

Thursday - Entry

Friday - Kitchen

Saturday - Living Room

Sunday - Rest

However, if I have Josh's playgroup or something (as I do every other Wednesday) during this afternoon slot, I will simply pick up the next day with the room I was supposed to do today. So basically the rooms will just rotate regardless of day after a while - but this is how I'm starting out!)

I have a detailed cleaning list for each room that I will go through as well. I will simply work for 30 minutes (until the timer goes off) and get as much done as I can in that time. I will pick up where I left off on that day the next week.

4:15 - Get mail with Josh & read him a story (we read way more than this during the day usually but this is just to ensure we read at least once a day)

4:30- Josh free playtime, Mama check email, then play with Josh.

5:00 - Quick house tidy up - kitchen clean up, put toys away, etc.

5:30 - Move clothes from washer to dryer - fold previous load (if applicable) and put away.

5:45 - Josh bath (if needed - we try to do this every other day)

6:00 - Make dinner. Josh playtime with Daddy (this is usually when he gets home).

6:30 - Eat dinner.

7:00 - Josh in PJs, diaper changed, teeth brushed.

7:15 - Prayers with Josh and then he goes to bed.

7:30 - I do dinner dishes and clean kitchen.

8:00 - Free time (unless it's a Young Life night) to blog, hang out with my hubby, meet a friend for coffee, etc.

10:00 - I get ready for bed or try to be in bed by now. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not!

Well there you have it - that's what I'm going to try to stick to and see if things can get organized around here. I'll keep you posted on my progress!

A Light Burden

I just spent some time with a friend of mine who has just started grad school and is having a hard time managing her time. She seems stressed beyond belief trying to keep up with school, her waitressing job, and volunteering with Young Life. I could see tears in her eyes as she looked at me and said "I just don't know what to do."

Spending time with this young woman made me think about how often this is the case for so many of us - especially those of us with young kids. We are often tired, over-worked, over-committed and feel just plain burnt out at the end of the day, week, month, etc. I reminded her today that God never wants us to feel so stressed that we are throwing up our hands and saying "I can't handle this, I just don't know what to do." If that's how we are feeling, it's because we are trying to control too much ourselves and be too many places we probably don't belong in the first place. I have totally been there, believe me.

Sometimes I think we need to take a step back and remember that God will never give us more than we can handle. ALSO, God doesn't want us to be at a perpetual breaking point, barely able to survive the stress of one more day. He says, "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light (Matthew 11:27-30).

God's burden is light - and also, it's HIS. If we ever feel like ministry, work, school, or life in general is just to stressful to manage, maybe we need to give our burden to God, because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7) and He is willing and able to show us where we belong and how we spend our time.

Just some spiritual food for thought. I know I'll be taking it to heart! And for those of you who know me well, keep me honest!! :)

Treasures in Heaven

My husband and I have been fortunate to be involved with a ministry called Young Life for many years. Young life is a non-denominational Christian ministry to high school students in which adult leaders (college age and older) spend time with high school students and share the gospel with them, simply by living life with them. Each week in our town, we have "club," in which 50 or so high school students get together to sing songs, play games, and hear a brief message about who God is and why He is relevant to adolescents. We also have a smaller group Bible study once a week where we go a little deeper into studying God's Word and helping interested kids get a better understanding of Jesus. Each summer, we take kids to a gorgeous camp (one of many throughout the country) to let them experience "the best week of their lives" playing, laughing, eating great food, and above all, hearing how God saved us by grace through His Son.

My husband and I were both involved in Young Life as high school students and were both deeply impacted by it back then. My husband gave his life to Christ at a beautiful Young Life camp called Lake Champion in New York and has been a different person ever since. Once he struggled with deep depression, but those days are a thing of the past since he gave Jesus control of his life. It was at another Young Life Camp called Rockbridge (located in Virginia) that I discovered I had put my relationship with Christ way on the back burner in high school; I made a commitment that week to walk with God from then on. Both of us profoundly changed; both would say it's the best decision we ever made.

And now, many years later, having been Young Life leaders pretty much since college, we are still volunteering with the ministry and loving every minute of it. It's incredible how much God continues to use the ministry in our lives - maybe even more than in the lives of kids! We are thankful to be a part of such a wonderful community of believers and thankful for the ways we have seen God use Young Life in many communities of high school students and their families.

So many people asked if we would stop leading "now that you're not in college anymore" or "now that you're working full time" or "now that you have a child," and our answer has been, simply: no way! We feel called to this ministry and it has been such a blessing to us for so many years. Until we clearly hear God calling us away from leading Young Life (probably when my son reaches high school himself!!), we will remain a part of this ministry. I think it also brings us closer as husband and wife to do ministry together, being like minded and unified to bring others to Christ.

I still remember doing our New Leader Training for Young Life back in college and one of the staff members said: "Leading Young Life isn't for everyone. God uses different people in different ministries to reach all sorts of people. The question is, if God isn't calling you to ministry in Young Life, where is He calling you? Because we are never called to not be ministering at all."

That has stuck with me over all these years and so I'll pass it on today. Maybe it's a ministry to your non-believing family, friends, or co-workers. Maybe it's outreach through your church or community. Maybe it's an organized ministry like Young Life - but whatever it is, we have been gifted with time, talent, and opportunity from God. We should make the most of it every day!

"Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." - Matthew 6:20

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho

Lately I feel like every time I need a baby-sitter (which isn't that often), I am scrambling to find someone! I mostly just need an occasional baby-sitter for the rare weekday that I work; however, since I work at a hospital, things can get a bit hectic and people call out last minute, etc. I am blessed to have two good friends who love my son on call to baby-sit when I need them to (their schedules allowing). Work is getting so crazy lately, though, that I am starting to feel guilty calling my sitters so often! I do pay them, but it's definitely less than they would make at a "regular" job for 8 hours. I know they are happy to help, but sometimes I can't help but think me working outside the house (during the week) is a big, fat waste of time.

I literally feel like I put in a full day's work sometimes before I even get to work on a weekday. When I work on a weekend, it's so relaxing to get ready in the morning (relatively speaking). I can get up, have some coffee and breakfast, take a leisurely shower and be confident in my ability to be out the door on time. My husband takes care of my son from the moment he wakes on these days, which makes my life about a zillion times easier!

During the week if I get called in to work (and I do always have the option to say no, but the bank account thanks me when I do a little extra here and there), I have to do everything myself. I get up (earlier than usual, I might add!), get showered, dressed, and ready. THEN, I get Josh up (sometimes I have to wake him, making things especially painful), get him breakfast and, depending on the day, deliver him to the sitter's house or try and make my house as presentable as I can for a sitter to come here. UGH! By the time I drive a half hour to work and get to the morning meeting, I am a breathless, sweaty, un-caffeinated mess...not to mention a few minutes late!

I know so many of my friends work full time and do this and so much more every day. To them, I simply say: I salute you! I just know I'm not cut out for it. The days I work during the week are hectic and by the time I get home, I'm completely spent. I long for time with my son and husband, but have no patience or energy to deal with them...let alone get dinner on the table!

That said, a mama's gotta do what a mama's gotta do. My husband is always so appreciative when I pick up some extra hours at work, and this month we really could use the funds. So, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go!